Coming to the realization that you’re open and ready to find someone to share your life with, is merely the first step in your quest for love. You’ve put in the groundwork; confronted fears, forgiven yourself and others, as well as closed the door on all that no longer serves you. You know what you want, but, do you know how to communicate it?
Communication isn’t solely verbal but also emotional and intuitive. A feeling or a sense of deep knowing are genuine forms of communication that you experience on a daily basis.
Learning how to confidently and clearly express yourself can assist you in achieving the fulfilling relationship you long for. Here we look at some common forms of communication and how they can help you to bring your relationship dreams into reality.
Non-Verbal Communication:
Peter Drucker once said, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” Beyond the use of words, humans instinctively use non-verbal communication to express a sentiment that may or may not align with what they are verbally saying. As an example; you might ask someone for a favor and athough they reply with an emphatic “yes”, their facial expression and body language say otherwise.
Cues to watch out for when communicating or being communicated with:
- Body posture.
- Facial expressions.
- Physical gestures and movements.
- Vocal or sound clues such as pitch.
- Eye contact, or a lack thereof.
Pay close attention to your own communication cues and those of others next time you’re engaged in a conversation. Use these cues to identify any seemingly hidden emotions and then try directing your conversation in response to this new understanding of others. (Try to be sensitive to others’ needs and wishes though – If a topic makes someone uncomfortable or distressed in any way, it’s wise to show them some concern and empathy before changing to another topic for discussion.)
Verbal Communication:
Together with non-verbal communication, this expression style combines words with physical and emotional gestures to get your point across. Sometimes all it takes is a little self-awareness to communicate our message more effectively.
If what you are trying to communicate is very important to you, then how you deliver it should be twice as significant. Your intentions will be eminently clear if you play close attention to your delivery.
It also helps to understand the personality type of your listener(s) so that you can hold your audience captive with the right communication style. Here are a few pointers to help you out:
- Think carefully about what you’d like to say before you speak.
- Use any knowledge you have about your audience to help choose your topics and mode of delivery.
- Keep your vocabulary simple and avoid using too many unnecessary words.
- Choose your words with honesty and integrity – Authenticity will hold your audience’s attention.
- If you’re giving a speech or you’d like to get an important message across (with time to prepare) practice your delivery a few times.
- Take your time. If you need a moment to gather your thoughts, do so and perhaps ask a question to give yourself time to think.
Emotional Communication:
This form of communication expresses deep feelings and emotions and is often a little more challenging to translate, describe and understand.
Have you ever had someone tell you that you’re not hearing or understanding them? You may be listening to their words but able to interpret their true meaning. This is when you’ll need to pay close attention to their emotional cues.
Learn to profoundly hear one’s sentiments can truly be the pillars of a strong communicative relationship.
Here are 3 ways to fine-tune this skill:
- Using patience in a conversation is a powerful tool. Take the time to listen and engage with the other person. Be fully present, try to fully process what they’re saying and show interest in what they’re saying. It may help to repeat to them what you’ve heard and ask if your interpretation is correct. Asking relevant questions is another good way to show that you’re listening and will help you to communicate at a deeper level. (Try not to interrupt the speaker – Wait for a pause in the other person’s thought process before responding.)
- Setting aside any biases or judgement is essential. Try not to assume your understanding of a particular emotion – You may need to ask for clarification or interpretation in order to appreciate what’s being communicated to you.
- Managing your own emotions is an important skill – both when you’re speaking and when you’re being spoken to. Remember that everyone has their own back story and life experiences. If you can stay focused on yourself, remaining calm and receptive, it will be easier to communicate effectively even if the other person seems distressed or upset. Remember that any emotion that seems to be directed at you by another person is only ever a reflection of their interpretation or previous experience. Their verbal and emotional responses should in no way be taken personally or seen as judgement of you – They should be viewed only as the other person’s unique expression of their own life experiences and context. Being able to calmly separate yourself and objectively listen to another person is one of the greatest communication skills to master.
Written Communication:
If you’re not great at communicating words verbally, then writing your message down might suit you better. This form of communication allows you the time to gather your thoughts and may help you to express them more clearly.
If you’re not great at speaking your truth, writing it may well be your best communication style. But not everyone is a natural writer. Read our tips to get you started on putting together your dating profile or an intimate letter. (https://platinumintroductions.com.au/2017/11/20/what-to-include-in-your-dating-profile-by-cara-frost-sherratt/ and https://platinumintroductions.com.au/2018/02/20/five-words-include-five-avoid-dating-profile/)
- Begin by planning what you’d like to say – Jot down some ideas in point form for discussion.
- Next, begin the letter with your preferred greeting (e.g. Dear or Hi ) and your opening paragraph using your first point above for discussion – Try writing short, easy-to-read sentences (maximum 23 words per sentence where possible).
- Avoid repeating the same words.
- Be open, honest and a little humorous wherever possible. Giving someone the gift of a smile or laughter is priceless.
- If you feel you need to think over what you’ve written, take a break and then read over it later. Sleeping on it may also be a good idea if you don’t feel that you need to send your message that same day.
In this digital age, your communication style is your brand. How you express yourself will reveal a lot about you as a person, so make it count!
At Platinum Introductions, we believe in the power of communication so “speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Join Platinum Introductions’ exclusive online dating and introductions community today to make a genuine connection.
Written by Estefania Rodriguez & Merryn Thomae
https://platinumintroductions.com.au