Congratulations on your decision to actively seek a meaningful and lasting relationship by joining a likeminded online community. That’s the first major step completed but, in order to connect with compatible potential partners, you need to create a compelling profile. This is your sales pitch; your chance to attract the attention of someone you’d like to connect with.
Writers often say that it’s far more difficult to craft a succinct piece of work with a limited word count than it is to write pages of reports or a chapter of a book. The same principle applies to your dating profile – you have a brief window of opportunity and what you leave out is equally as important as what you include. So, how do you go about presenting yourself in a way that accurately portrays your personality and highlights your good points?
First impressions
As the old saying goes, ‘first impressions count’ and, when it comes to your online profile, you need to capture the attention of other members immediately. The first few sentences need to engage sufficiently for people to want to find out more about you. With viewers potentially scanning through numerous profiles in one sitting, yours needs to stand out for all the right reasons.
A recent collaborative study* by eye-tracking technology firm Tobii Technologyand research firm AnswerLab, revealed that, on average, women spent 84 seconds looking at a profile to decide if was a potential match, while men spent just 58 seconds. With a written profile, photos and facts to digest, this doesn’t allow much time to impart a sense of who you are through your introduction. It’s therefore vital to make every word count and start with a strong opener that really sums you up and makes people want to hover over your profile and ‘click’ to read more.
Show your personality
Essentially, your dating profile should reflect your personality. If your description is uninspiring, you’ll be instantly overlooked in favor of those with better prose. Of course, creative-writing talent doesn’t necessarily translate into sparkling wit and charisma in the flesh, but this is the first port of call for potential partners.Keep it informal, avoid clichés and naturally include words or phrases that demonstrate your personality, rather than overplaying it. Be specific and passionate about your hobbies and interests – you want to fire the imagination of readers by giving them a deeper insight into who you are. Most people enjoy eating out but not everyone loves watching fresh sushi being prepared or has a penchant for wine-tasting tours: if you do, mention it! If you need some inspiration, you can read the most popular current profiles on the Telegraph here and see how they grab readers’ attention with short, snappy intros that offer an instant personality insight.
Put ideas in their head
Set the scene for a romantic rendezvous: What’s your idea of a perfect day out? Which city would you love to visit and why? But always keep it brief – exploring the architecture of Florence might be on your bucket list but you don’t need to write an essay on the influences of the Medici dynasty.
Ask a Friend
Once you’ve crafted a draft version, it’s always worth seeking a second opinion. So, before you go ahead and post your profile, ask a trusted friend or family member to read it for you objectively and to provide suggestions for presenting yourself in the best possible light. Do they find your profile inspiring? And don’t be shy – ask them what traits they most admire in you and what they think your strengths are. There may be something you’ve omitted that could just be the highlight of your dating profile.
Hire a ghostwriter
Finally, if the art of witty and engaging prose just isn’t part of your skillset, hire someone who writes for a living to elevate your profile. There are a number of professional dating profile ghostwriters who know exactly how to hone your content so it sparkles and captures the attention of site visitors.
Lisa Hoehn of Profile Polishis a writer who has helped thousands of people craft succinct, snappy and memorable descriptions. In a recent article on Fortune, she summed up the essential dos and don’ts when writing your profile:
“Do mention your work/career. Don’t treat your profile as a biography, and don’t introduce yourself at the beginning or sign off at the end. Do be relatable, open-minded, and give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t fall in love with someone based on their profile. Do send messages. Lots of messages. Don’t make it too long. Do proofread and spellcheck. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. And have some fun.”
If all this sounds like a huge mountain to climb on the way to making meaningful connections, don’t panic – take your time: it’s better to spend a few days crafting a profile you’re happy with, rather than rushing it. Write a draft, get feedback, put it away for a day and then read it again with fresh eyes. At the end of the day, your dating profile is a snapshot of you – be honest, open and upbeat and you’re bound to attract interesting, likeminded members.
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Written by guest contributor, Cara Frost-Sharratt
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