It’s time to arrange a meeting in person!
According to research* by Stephanie Ortigue at Syracuse University, it takes less than a second to fall in love. Our brains process things like physical attributes, body language and even smell very quickly to build up an instant opinion of the other person. And, while love at first sight isn’t a prerequisite for a successful long-term relationship, there’s a lot to be said for instant attraction, especially when this occurs in conjunction with a solid online connection.
You’ll likely be a little nervous when you first meet in person – even if you’ve been chatting like old friends online for weeks! This is perfectly normal – try to reframe your nerves as excitement and remember that you really have nothing to lose and everything to gain by meeting face to face. If this relationship is meant to be, it will be – no matter what happens at the first meeting.
Choose a venue where you can focus on each other – where space, ambience and sound will allow you to hold a relaxed conversation.
Matthew Hussey, (British television personality, human dynamics coach, and New York Times Bestselling author) has a number of invaluable tips for how to approach a first meeting.
Matthew suggests viewing your first meeting as having “three compartments” with the first compartment taking place “somewhere that’s risk free and easy to leave” such as a bar or café. This way, If it’s not going well, you can enact an “escape plan” (unlike a dinner date where you generally feel committed to stay for the entire meal). If, however, the meeting is going well, Matthew suggets that you use the remaining compartments to continue the date, perhaps at another venue. In his YouTube video, he uses the example of a bowling alley but this could easily be dinner, a movie, a visit to a museum or a park.
Matthew Hussey, #1 Rule For A Perfect First Date
(Follow Him on Twitter https://twitter.com/matthewhussey)
Another fantastic tip is ensuring that you always sit next to the person you’re meeting and not directly opposite them. Matthew explains that this allows you both to feel that you’re “watching the world together”; providing you both with a sense of “external focus” and making any silences between you less noticeable.
Matthew Hussey, 3 tricks To Make First Dates Less Awkward
Love Life iHeartRADIO – Love Life With Matthew Hussey
Be confident – This person has trusted you with a face-to-face meeting which is already a huge vote of confidence in you. So imagine that you’re talking to a friend, someone who’s genuinely interested in you.
Be present – Prepare some questions to ask ahead of time, including one or two for any breaks in the flow of conversation. Listen attentively and enjoy being fully present. This is your opportunity to make a true connection.
In Matthew Hussey’s Must-Have Checklist For Your Next Date, he insists that on a first date, everyone must “go armed with a great story …….. A story that reveals part of your character, preferably something that makes you look impressive.”
Matthew Hussey, A Must-Have Checklist For Your Next Date
Rachael Ray Show
There may be some wonderful people whom you meet on this journey who are not for you, but everyone you meet will provide you with an opportunity for dynamic interaction and personal growth.
The path to a successful relationship is made up of many such small adventures, from the first meeting to many more. Enjoy your unique journey to discovering lasting love.
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