It’s no small decision to open your heart to the possibility of a new partner and it’s incredibly exciting when you embark on this adventure. The first step is to create a compelling online profile that reveals a little of your personality, as well as showing humor, honesty and integrity. Once your profile is live, you can expect to begin receiving messages from people who feel they have sufficient common ground to want to get to know you better. But just how much should you reveal at this early stage of your journey?

What qualities define your ideal partner? 

Before making contact, ask yourself exactly what you’re looking for in a partner – both in terms of attributes and desires. These should be the things that are most important for you. It makes no sense to compromise on key issues that are close to your heart – or that have cropped up in previous relationships – at this very early stage. Your core values are what make you unique and you’ll only be happy in a relationship if you can hold onto these.

It can help to write these down so you have them to hand when you’re choosing who to connect with online.

For example:

• What values and belief systems do you see as essential in a prospective partner?
• Are looks important: do you need to feel an instant physical attraction?
• Do you want someone who will challenge you intellectually?
• How important is spirituality or religion to a relationship?
• Will the subject of children make a difference: are you looking for someone who wants to become a parent or will existing children be a barrier to a relationship?
• Are you passionate about politics – will different views cause friction for you?

Moving forward 

Once you’ve established that you’re interested in finding out more about each other, consider what questions to ask, in order to see if you want to take things further. Choose questions that will allow you to share information about one another in a fun, relaxed way – ask about aspirations, life experience, career, relationship expectations, interests and leisure activities. Here are some questions to get you started:

1. What five words would your friends use to describe you?
2. What was the last album or piece of music you listened to?
3. What are your three favorite movies of all time and why?
4. Which countries would you most like to visit and why?
5. What’s your earliest memory?
6. What experience(s) in your life to date have given you a sense of exhilaration?
7. What scares you?
8. Which three people do you most admire and why?
9. What are your top three aspirations?
10. What are your three most memorable meals ever?
11. What are the three best holidays you’ve ever had and why?
12. If you could choose a super power, what would it be?
13. If you could choose to live anywhere in the world, where would you live and why?
14. What would you like to be doing with your life at 70?

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